Damned If I Don't, Damned If I Do
Part Three of The Damned Series


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PART ONE: 25th December 2003
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Chapter Four: Blow Me Down With a Feather

Ten minutes later Buffy excused herself and went into the kitchen. "You need any help?"

Faith's back was to her as she washed dishes and set them down on the drainer. "I said I didn't."

"Just checking you hadn't changed your mind."

"Nope."

"Okay." Buffy sat down at the counter. "I'll just watch then."

Faith looked over her shoulder with a smirk. "Watch what? My ass?"

Buffy smiled. "Well the Grinch isn't on for another half an hour."

Another plate was plunged into the murky water and bubbles flew up.

Buffy soon got bored of ass-watching. Not that it wasn't a nice pastime and fast becoming Buffy's favourite sport besides ice-skating, and ice-skating was so a sport, but the ass in question was just standing there. Buffy had never seen this particular ass so motionless.

"I'm sorry I was such a jerk last night." She said to break the silence.

"Don't worry about it."

"But I didn't make myself clear. What I said wasn't what I meant." Buffy tried to explain. Not easy when Faith was still refusing to look away from her chore.

"Yes it was." Faith pulled the plug free with a noisy gurgle and grabbed a cloth to dry them with.

"No it really wasn't."

"It doesn't matter." What was with these tiny little sentences? Normally she couldn't shut Faith up.

"What do you mean it doesn't matter?"

Faith turned now, leaning against the sink while she dried the big fancy plate the bird had been laid to rest on. "It means the moment passed B. For me anyways." She fidgeted a little. "I don't know if it ever even started for you."

"It did, it has, it's still here." She got out quickly, but Faith just kept on.

"The idea of me and you...It's a fantasy. A damn good one sure, but that's all. We don't belong together and we sure ain't star-crossed lovers. If we were this woulda been all sorted a long time ago. All we are is two chicks who share this phenomenal connection with each other and have crazy-ass hormones that act like little voices inside our heads telling us to do stuff."

Buffy blinked, working all that out in her head. Faith babble was a new one. "Isn't that enough to start with?"

Faith shook her head. "Obviously not, or we wouldn't be having this conversation."

Buffy left her chair and walked closer to Faith. "Then let's not have it. Let's just do something else."

Faith turned away from her again to pick up another dish. "No thanks."

Putting her hands on the brunette's shoulders, Buffy tried to turn her back around, but she refused to be budged. "What do you mean ‘no thanks'? Why are you being so unreasonable about this?"

"I know you're not this stupid Buffy, but I'll lay it out for you anyway, seeing as you're acting it." Faith paused for a breath, turned once more and started backing away from her. "You had your shot, B, and you blew it, just like I blew mine five years ago."

"Blew it?" Buffy could feel herself going red, but this time it wasn't with embarrassment.

"Hey, no hard feelings. I want to be friends an' all, I just..." Faith shrugged with her hands held out to her sides. "...If I'm gonna kick this, I gotta go cold turkey."

"Kick what?" But Faith had already gone three at a time up the back stairs.


Chapter Five

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